I can't sleep. There's been a lot on my mind today, right from the moment I awoke. The rest of the day passed paradoxically in a stand-still sort of way. It seemed I could no longer convince myself that time existed. I was entirely too aware of the instant and the fact that any sense of time we have is merely a construct of memory, a chain of instants strung together to give a semblance of continuity.
I wonder what causes such days. There are a couple issues I can think of that might have led to the odd feeling of today. But it couldn't be any one thing, right? Or maybe my mind is just too focused on what I'm missing that it suddenly became aware of its fleeting existence and overwhelming insignificance.
Today I floated through the universe, stuck in the instant, and the whole day had a nightmarish quality. Usually I enjoy my awareness of How Things Are, but today, it just seemed downright wrong.
However, I did enjoy myself with a book and a good cigar, so I wasn't unhappy. I just don't have to words to accurately or adequately describe the day. I just hope tomorrow isn't the same. I need a rest from it.
I also feel much farther than normal from the one I love, and I'm wondering if it's already starting to crumble...